Updated: Mar 11
I am no stranger to being busy in both my other life and now, as Yvette Bond. So 8 months has gone by quickly. What did I expect or hope to achieve by stepping into the underworld of Sex for Cash? To be frank, I can't really remember what my thought pattern was around it, but I'm here and committed until December 2023.
Here are a few things I have gained, learned or thought about since embarking on my double life.
1. It's not how I thought it would be, but that's ok.
I didn't see how doing a day of sex work could be that much different to spending the entire day in bed with one person, and having sex with that one person, a few times, in one day.
As you can guess, I was wrong about that :) ..... Almost all clients need to be touched.... and want to feel wanted. But that is where the similarities mostly end.
While I like to believe that the way I am in each encounter is much the same... Each gent brings his own chemistry.... and how our chemistry blends is unique to us....
Therefore the experience I share with each man is quite different, and actually nothing like spending the day in bed with one man.... One thing is for sure though .... "a day in the life of YB" does not get monotonous :)
2. The idea of monogamy has become... "questionable"
If another thing has become incredibly clear these past few months... It's that men's need for touch and sexual intimacy (and in many cases, variety) is not only very real, it is a high priority.
When you consider that men (unlike most women) will have sex with partners whom they have no 'other' interest in (besides sex).... that they will have sex with women they don't even know (escorts), may not necessarily respect or like, and that some men will even have sex with women they aren't even all that attracted to (if it's free)...
....Is it any wonder how durable the male sex drive is? It survives all, doesn't it?? Sleep deprivation, injury, stress, depression, anxiety, heart break. Man's desire for sex and sexual contact even survives when the prostate is removed, and when they are paralysed from the waist down.
And when you add to that, that Men can and do have sex with other women, even though they are in love with and are devoted to one other woman, in every other way.... For me, it does put the 'realistic-ness' of monogamy into question. At least if you want a relationship based on genuine honesty and a "whole other level" of trust.
I am not saying non-monogamy is for me in future relationships. I am saying however, since having seen things through the eyes of Agent Eve - it is an idea that is worth entertaining even if I may not necessarily accept it for myself.
3. Clients are not the only ones having their needs met.
Something weird happens when you exchange dating for clients.
Many needs you didn't realise you had, start getting met. Past lovers would hesitate to classify me as 'needy'... on the contrary. Generally I don't like to rely upon other people in order to feel happy, satisfied, to achieve what I want to or get things done in my life.
But here I am, having many needs met by clients, such as but not limited to: Intimacy (obviously), affection (including affection without the expectation of sex eg. after sex), intellectual stimulation, conversations of the broader and more conscious range, laughter (best!), playfulness and banter, empathy, understanding, mutual respect, mutual compassion, being trusted, being able to trust, attraction, desire, physical chemistry, sex of the satisfying nature, support on both a personal level and in terms of career advancement (outside YvetteBond), acknowledgement of other things about my character, feeling appreciated and valued.... and having space.
It's true, every now and then I think it might be good to have a man around, in order to meet other needs or wants that clients don't or can't satisfy. But when I consider the complications that can potentially go hand in hand with having such needs met - the interest passes.
To date, there is no one client that satisfies all Bond Girl needs. But I doubt that has ever even been possible (or realistic) from any one man.
Do consider myself lucky to have a diverse range of men in my life right now?....who excel really well at satisfying some of my needs as a woman? Absolutely. Very lucky. Privileged in fact.
4. A good rate of return client does not decrease advertising expense for the working girl
In any other industry, when your repeat business increases you can potentially drop some of your advertising (and associated costs). But not in the sex industry. A few months into escorting, I changed my phone number due to a privacy risk. On account of that, I had discovered that very few return clients, had saved my old number. Meaning, they have to return to the advertising platforms to retrieve my number each time.
Further, because my availability is limited, I rely on taking bookings at short notice when I am more available. And since a good portion of my guys are 'short notice' type guys.... not only having to maintain the adverts, but also posting 'Available Now' means the advertising expense / overhead unfortunately remains at large.
5. I'd have totally swiped left on some of the best lovers.
Some clients may not be the best looking, not the most witty, nothing super special and in some cases (but not all) guys I would never have thought of dating...
But.... to my surprise.... "exceptional in the bedroom" would be an understatement. The way they give oral (like a long slow kiss), their touch (slow, soft, with pace and pressure building as my arousal and excitement does). Their ability to read me and go with what I ask... The slow and deliberate penetrative stroke that gives me the time I need, the space and unspoken permission to touch myself..... and a perfectly timed kiss that gets me off while they are still hard inside me.
To think, I'd have swiped left on such men. Unbelievable.
6. I can now fold a fitted sheet like a "gun".
How did I evade developing this skill for so long? Enough said, it's a skill I will forever take forth with me.
I don't know what the next 3 years will teach me in terms of life and a broadening perspective. I am not the kind of person who 'stays the same'. I allow my experiences to shape me as a person, and in particular my viewpoints. I allow the experiences that I observe others going through to broaden my perception as well.
I guess if anything is guaranteed it is that there is just as much to learn from the sex industry as there is cash to be made, saved and stashed.
Agent Eve, aka Ms Bond.