Updated: 3 days ago
This week marked 12 months since my first day of sex work. I spent the morning being shot at the Crown Towers by dear friend and photographer, Billy. A good executive decision to lean towards the Casino for all future shoots, since the in-room meals at the Ritz Carlton often leave a Bond Girl hungry.
Despite having sex for 2 decades and being self employed for the majority of my working life... You could say, I’m still a novice when it comes to sex work, but I have realised what I love, hate, like & dislike about sex work.
1. I Love the Cash
Let's not beat around the bush here. It would be far more challenging for someone in my set of circumstances to turn over the income I currently do, with as little over heads and no staff, in a mainstream profession. One hundred percent, I use my time in this industry to rebuild capital and I will continue to do so until my other circumstances and availability frees me up enough to work on more conventional projects with full steam.
2. I Like the Relationship You Form With Clients, but Dislike That it May Not Last
What I mean by that is, you become fond of clients, and the relationship you build with them, in the same way (but also different) to any other business or say, friendship. As a provider you learn to value seeing familiar faces as opposed to new ones each booking.
But there are many and varying things that can make a client drop off, I mean besides moving on for sake of variety (which is obviously a given)… Like the time I put a client whom was returning for his 7th visit in the shower for, ahem, shower sex. He never returned after that. Okay, I've made mistakes here and there.
But the one reason I never thought would contribute to losing clients (and yet) most understandable and most common, is when clients need to go away or move on due to developing feelings. Can’t say I ever experienced losing business in other career paths because you made the client too happy.
But hey, I get it.
3. I Like the Diversity of Client and Booking Type
After a booking with fellow SW Erika Myles, a client said to us “That’s why you do this, you like the variety” ... And I thought to myself, “No Buddy.... during the entirety of my sex life generally I can have varied and spontaneous sex with just one person… and be satisfied”. So make no mistake, I sleep with a variety of men, for the money.
But months later when one of my clients was talking about fronting a years plus of my exclusive rate.... I wondered if I would actually miss the diversity of clientele (personalities and booking types such as the differing client needs/ wants and booking length).
First and foremost I'm a business person, so I would be crazy not to enter into an arrangement where I would see only one client for the same monthly turn over (that is if such an arrangement ever became more than just talk).... But the diversity of clients and booking types is something I think I would actually miss, at least for a while.
4. I Dislike the Judginess, Whorearchy and Bitchiness Between the Girls
Escorts would have to be one of the mostly incredibly judged professionals and people by the rest of society. Name me one profession that is as harshly judged by the vast majority?
And on account of that I find it interesting and disappointing when escorts openly judge each other for the different services they offer, or different ways in which they operate.
Some may like to use the ‘but that component of what you offer is illegal - and therefore I have a right to judge because you doing that makes others view sex workers badly’. At the end of the day, sex work in its entirety is illegal in many places in the world and I sincerely doubt that if only the highest class Sex Workers existed, that the stigma would be any different. It is what it is.
As Sex Workers we really can’t complain about the stigma of sex work and complain or judge other sex workers at the same time. Because doing so makes us 100% part of the stigma problem.
5. I Hate Controlling Client Behaviour & Manipulation
There are all sorts of attempts at manipulation by would be clients, or one offs, such as but not limited too.... the client who says even before the service "I could write you a review....", "I look forward to becoming a regular.....", "Do you have free time after our booking, if it goes well I could extend...". During my sex worker 'apprenticeship' I soon learned that clients who say this, rarely follow through and it's clear these clients say these things because they believe by doing so, the sex worker may provide a better service in the hopes of receiving that testimonial, extension or frequent return client. (It makes no difference, Sir). This kind of manipulation, I dislike.
But it hits harder when it's a client you see sometimes several times per week who tries to book out all your availability for the week, but when finding out you have another client earlier in the week, wants you to cancel that client and threatens to not do go through with his multiple bookings unless you do.... Needless to say this client was miserably unsuccessful in leveraging me. I once turned down a $5000 extension (with a very intoxicated, but easy and lovely client) to ensure I made it to two pre-booked return clients later that day valued only at $800.
He was trying to control the wrong girl.
The constant messages late at night "You're working aren't you" ... "I'm done" ..... As though I am doing something wrong?
The thing is, when a client like this is as lucrative as he is (and not only knows it, but expresses "Money isn't an issue, I can make it happen").... It could be said the behaviour is deliberate in order to manipulate you to either not see other clients, or to lie. You know, to keep him happy and coming back.
But that isn't me. Not a single one of my clients who has a soft spot for me could ever say I leverage their emotions for my financial gain. Because the truth of the matter is, besides not having to, it just doesn't sit right with me. I would rather send them away to other sex workers, so they might get their head straight. In the case of this client, when I sent him away, it backfired as other escorts would texting in an effort to get him to rebook (he does long bookings and is generous with the gifts). In one instance another escort had claimed she had feelings after 3 bookings and started crying, not wanting him to leave. So all that sending him away to other ladies was make him respect my 'way' and like me more.
I might make love for money, but lying or concocting stories about how I feel or my situation to maintain client relationships and/ or turnover - I would never do. So when you really have always tried to do the right and ethical thing by a client who has caught feelings, and they try to manipulate, leverage or control you.... it really does put into question how much they really 'care' about you, and what you're trying to achieve for yourself/ future.
6. I Love When I Hear of Other Escorts Hit Their Financial Goals
Such as having purchased a new home, investment property or business. Particularly if they started from zero or or have the odds against them. You could say I feel the same when escorts complete degrees they’ve been doing sex work to get through. This past 12 months I've come to really want to see working girls achieve.
Sometimes your financial goals are more simple. To ensure rent and bills are paid... Food is in the fridge, fuel is in the car and kids are clothed.... Whatever your financial goals are fellow escorts, big or small.... If you’re face in, incredibly private and no one knows what you’re doing… sometimes you can’t even share your wins.
So from me to you Sister….. Well done…. Well f'king done xx
7. I Dislike The Hate For Clients
Including married ones. If they are horrible to deal with - fair enough.
But when I see escorts have a dig at married clients.... I can’t help but feel the rest of society would say that the majority of clients, especially married, wouldn’t be able to acquire sex outside of their marriages with any where near the same ease if it were not for sex workers.
So it could be argued that sex workers contribute to infidelity. But, of course it should be noted that’s a bit of a chicken and egg argument.
For me personally, I would feel lacking in gratitude to hate on a married client who just dumped $1800 into my savings account. But that is just me, 12 months in. Maybe in another year I might feel different?
8. I Like Forums, but Dislike Review Boards
I actually like being involved in the discussion on some forums (despite the politics - another story) because I find some of the content interesting, I enjoy the dialogue in the same way that many like Twitter. But forums don’t have character limits and are generally client focused, which as a provider (and business person) gives me a differing perspective.
I will also add, I’ve often been a part of forums relative to other career paths. So being present on forums is not really a new thing to me.
But review boards such as Punter Planet, different story.
My issue with such review boards is similar to my viewpoint on internet dating. You aren’t going to connect with every person via internet dating, and sometimes it’s not the other persons fault. Photos can be recent and accurate, but still different? Images do not convey chemistry, attitudes and behaviour, this can only be measured in person. I think meeting escorts is no different... So for that reason alone I have never gotten shirty over an internet dating anti climax and I think that the Punter Planet style of review board can be unfair and misleading to other punters.
And I would ask, how many punters that have had a bad experience have 1). asked themselves if it was something they did that contributed to not receiving the best service, or 2). reached out to the escort and offered some private and diplomatic feedback (which is generally how perspectives are broadened and misunderstandings reconciled in conventional business).... I would say, rare at best.
9. I Love The Gifts and Thoughtful Gestures
I have to admit, I love the gifts. I have been fortunate enough to receive many and expensive gifts.... But often it's the little things like tea, raw honey or dusted almonds... the sweetest gestures and much appreciated. A client once gave me a fresh bunch of Thyme to symbolise the time we spend together. That gave me a laugh.
Recently a beautiful gent offered me his member passes to attend a certain game.....Best! And another had taken his time to find certain collectable cards for my team... not a super expensive gift, but one that took his time to create!
Love client gifts and gestures. Big and small. 100%. Thank YOU! (... but remember, gifts aren't expected!!)
10. I Like The Sex.
There is something different about sex with clients in comparison to sex with someone you've been dating. With new lovers, for me, there maybe be some barrier which may prevent me from 'letting go' . That barrier may take a few sexual encounters to come down.
With clients, I am not sure exactly what it is, but I don't experience 'the barrier'.... Perhaps it's the transactional nature of the encounter that allows me to not care and remain in the now? With a client it's far easier to focus on the sex rather than the person. And that for me equates to far more climax.
Whats not to like about that?
11. I Love Getting Paid to Have Sex With Men I’m Attracted To
One of my very first clients, a veteran escort patron, likely a player, and I would say addicted to sex is the perfect example. Despite finding his energy appealing, he was generally the type of guy I would avoid in my private life. You know guys like this are trouble and need to be kept at arms length. I can't say I overly enjoyed our first booking for whatever reason.... But by the second or third booking, I really was sold on any time he requested a booking. Yes please, and thank you.
His kissing skills were on point, and he got off on getting you off, not just once, but several times in a session “What do you need babe?”. I was able to enjoy having sex with him for many months and turn over a few thousand for the pleasure, before he eventually dropped off a couple of months back.
12. I Dislike the Secrecy, Anxiety & Isolation
When I adopted the 'Secret Agent/ Bond Girl' theme for marketing purposes, it was quite fitting in terms of having a double life. My lives as Yvette and XX really are polar opposites. As Yvette, I am in some ways my most honest. I have no need to lie to clients, save details to prevent me being stalked :) ... But I do not lie about my way of life. They know my life as XX is completely 'mum like', I often share stories of other clients or things to do with my work. They really do get a transparency people in my personal life no longer get.
As XX, I have a fabricated job and sometimes a fabricated 'friends with benefits' in order to maintain the cover story of where I go when I am off to work. For me, it's a lot of 'bullshit' to maintain. "What do you do at your work? Are you still seeing the same guy? When do we get to meet him? You never talk about him?" In order to avoid having to maintain the stories I now avoid some friends and some conversations with family.... I also am apprehensive about parties or meeting new people because I am concerned about bumping into a client and having my cover blown...
Some would suggest to befriend other Sex Workers, but having heard too many stories of girls outing other girls, that is not an option for this super cautious special agent.
This means I do rely a lot on my friendship with my girlfriend in the Eastern States (Erika Myles), and a male friend who I've known half my life, who knows everything. Sometimes I worry I might be burdening them since it's in my nature to gravitate towards the only two people I can be 100% real with.
And then more recently I have felt the need to spend some time with a man, not for the sex, but for what I would describe as 'the boyfriend experience' - which is actually quite different to what clients would understand as the 'girlfriend experience'.
But because I refuse to divulge my secret squirrel job to anyone (who could jeopardise my cover) and ethically I feel it would be uncool to not be transparent about, I don't know... sleeping with a number of men when he's not around (and being concerned about any fall out should he find out).... Well it's safe to say, a Casual Relationship or Boyfriend Experience is kinda (and sadly) not really workable during my time as Yvette Bond.
....... This is why I call my clients "Men Of My Life" ... Because they are in fact the only men of my life... Right now.
This is your Bond Girl, 12 months under cover, signing off.
Agent Yvette Bond aka Evie 0069 x